While in Shenzen, China, I stayed with a group of guys from Bangladesh, who where, with the rest of the muslim world, deep in the middle of Ramadan. During the ninth month of the muslim calender, falling between mid September to mid October, Ramadan is a time where Muslim followers around the world abstain from all food and drink (including water) each day while the sun is up, for the entirety of the month. According to some prominent members of the BSC (Bangladeshi Shenzen Crew), Ramadan is about focusing less on the daily rigors of everyday life, and more on what matters the most: God. It is about the realization that we are all on this planet together, some more fortunate than others in the lives that we were borne into; the aim of Ramadan is to feel what it is like to suffer, like so many people in this world have no choice but to live through, and to understand that we are no better than anyone else, all of us the same in God’s eyes.
I fasted with the BSC for one full day during my stay with them, but the notion of fasting stuck with me as something that I definitely wanted to do in the future, when the time was right. Well, if my reader remembers from my last entry “Hungry in Hanoi”, being stuck in the middle of a foreign country with just a few dollars to ones name can’t possibly be more of a ‘right time’ to initiate a fast. The fasting guidelines where basic: for one full week, I would not consume any means of nourishment, with the exclusion of water, until after sunset, at which time I would have a moderate dinner.
The motivation behind my decision to fast is quite different from that of Ramadan, however–not a bit religious, maybe spiritual, but principally of a practical, hell, even selfish nature, in which the purpose lies in self-development and obtaining a greater appreciation for life, and all that comes with it. To understand this link between fasting, or more generally any form of self-deprivation, with a heightened sense of satisfaction and appreciation of life, I first must give the reader a little background.
Pretend for a moment that you were the ‘average’ Westerner, and I showed you a photograph of yourself when you were five years old. I then ask you who the person is in the photo, and you respond “Oh, that’s me”. But, how could that small child be the same person as the adult that I am showing the picture to. And surely you behave and think differently from that child as well, no? You respond, “Yea, but that was me”.
Most of us have this idea that we are separate and distinct beings independent from our surroundings. Even the word ‘Self’ literally means other. We think in terms of ‘I’s and ‘You’s and ‘We’s like we are static creatures in an ever moving and changing world, like our ’self’ as we call it is a cork floating down a river. Our surroundings might be continually changing, but there exists something distinct and unwaivering about who we are that does not change with time.
This view that most of us hold, that of a static ’self’, is inherently deeply flawed. Think about it for a moment. From a purely physical standpoint, we are changing every nanosecond, with old cells dying and new ones being reborn; our physical composition, much like our surroundings, is in a continual state of flux. But in addition to our dynamic chemical and physical make-up, our beliefs about the world, our thoughts and perceptions, are also always changing. Surely you don’t have the exact same mentality and views as you had when you where a child, but you also don’t have the exact same mentality and views as you had last year, or even a few moments ago before reading this entry for that matter.
As opposed to the flawed view of the ’self’ as static beings, I prefer to think of people, or try to at least, as dynamic ones, in a constant state of flux. A person at any point in time is the product of a complex function of different variables interacting, some of which are constantly changing, thereby creating a new ‘you’ every moment. The function is essentially just the interplay between our genetic code, which is fixed, and our experiences, which is changing by the moment. Since one of the variables making up our ’self’ is in a constant state of change, our ’self’ must also be constantly changing. As such, whenever I refer to ‘myself’ or someone ‘else’, I mentally put quotations around the ‘I’ or ‘you’ or ‘we’, because through defining ourselves through language, we get a distorted view of reality due to its inherently static nature.
In addition to our dynamic nature, we can also see that we are fooling ourselves into thinking that we are separate and independent entities from the rest of the world. Since who we are at any point in time is largely predicated by our experiences and surroundings, we only exist in relation to all the other constantly changing things in the world. Going back to our cork in the river analogy, we can see how this is flawed because we are also constantly changing and interconnected with the river. Rather, we are the river.
This view of the world I find to be extremely intellectually satisfying as well as very powerful. Since we are constantly changing, there is no need to have regrets–only learn from them. Since people are at any given time the product of their past experiences which they have been exposed to, as well as other factors out of their control, it teaches us compassion upon our fellow humans. Since every moment that passes us is an experience, and every experience is an opportunity towards self-development and improvement, what’s the point of doing anything that isn’t advantageous to our environment and ourselves (i.e. watching mindless television, unnecessary complaining, creating negative energy etc.), and thereby towards our future ‘me’? Since we have control of our future experiences, but not of our past ones, what’s the point of not focusing on this very moment? This perspective on life teaches us that we are the masters of our destiny. When we think of ourselves as ’static beings’ we are in bondage, slaves to our pasts; but as ‘dynamic beings’ we know that we create the future, and our potential effect on this at first seemingly jumbled-mess-of-a-world is in fact infinite. Thinking of ourselves as the cork, we are prisoners, but as the river we are free–free to go anywhich way we please, free to Be.
And, importantly, since we understand that we are just part of this whole constantly changing flux, we can realize that nothing is permanent. Holding on to anything, any form of attachment, is the source of much of our angst. We conceptualize things as being static instead of what they are, transitory, and thereby we are pained when we inevitably loose what we like, what we love, and run away from those things which we don’t like or fear. But if we accept that all of Life is evanescent, then we can truly appreciate when those emotions that we like come around, and at the same time understand that when we encounter those emotions we don’t care for, it is only temporary, so we deal with them.
Tying all this in with the idea that self-deprivation can be beneficial to one’s being, we can see how the suffering we endure is transitory and an opportunity for potential growth. By reveling in the emotion, saturating our inner-most being with that emotion instead of running away from it, we will appreciate the other side of the same coin of that emotion that much more. Since everything in this world exists in relative terms, by experiencing a full spectrum of emotions we understand each one of those emotions that much better. When we feel hunger, which seems that so many of us rarely do, we also really feel the satisfaction on the other end of the spectrum, when we finally do get that nourishment.
During each meal during my fasting time, all of my senses where heightened. The slow savoring of every delectable bight of even the most basic dishes, the aroma from the dish taking over me extends throughout my body, the breeze from the fan above me, the dancing bright bright red rose at my table, the splitter spat sound from the fountain behind me and the chattering of the Vietnamese couple at the table at the other end of the otherwise deserted restaurant. Fasting brought me complete and unadulterated Nirvana over the course of the meal, an inability to think of anything else but all that was around me at that very moment–reveling in the moment.
I know this isn’t the most ‘light’ reading around, and congratulations to those that have made it this far down. But I truly do believe that the idea of temporary self-inflicted-deprivation of some kind is the panacea that many people stuck in our society of eternal wants really need. Many of us Westerners live a life in which everything is handed to them in a silver spoon, an existence void of struggle. We often are pleasure seekers quickly trying to run away from the first hint of discomfort and that which we fear. But by doing so, by not experience all these emotions which we think of as suffering, we numb are senses and take much of the great material life we have right in front of us for granted. By not experiencing the other side of the coin, the emotion that we are running from, we have an inability to truly appreciate its inverse, thereby making the emotions that we love so much duller and faded.
6 Responses to “Life in the Fast Lane”
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November 9th, 2006 at 11:22 pm
Tim,
Very thought provoking and well-written post. I will read it again at a later time to absorb more of it.
I’ve been reading “Become What You Are” by Alan Watts, as you recommended. It’s an interesting read.
I’m heading down to UNC for Homecoming this weekend. Paul, Kyle, Moon, Adam and Brandon will all be there. We’ll miss you again.
I can’t wait to hear all of the rest of your story.
Caleb
November 10th, 2006 at 12:19 am
Man, wish I was there with you guys, y’all are gonna have a blast. It would be great to cheer on another doomed Carolina football attempt with all of you and partake in the inevitable drunken revelry, but damn if I don’t want to show off that tailored made Carolina Blue suit, complemented with white satin shirt, white lining down pants and sleeves, and blue and white leather shoes that I bought in Hoi An, Vietnam for a wopping $30. Guess it’ll have to wait till’ March Madness to make its appearance…
November 13th, 2006 at 7:56 am
Hiya Tim!
The comment “tab” is available in this entry (unlike most of the others), so I can actually make you a comment now….
The “stuff” you are talking/thinking about here is the same basic kind of “stuff” that I was focused on during my philosophical studies… Trying to discover, for example, IF, as you say “nothing is permanant” or if, on the other hand, within the flux we live in, there IS some “truth”- some “reality”- that goes above and beyond the transience of the material flux of life…
For a kind of ridiculous example, is your statement that “nothing is permanent” a permanent truth?
In fact, the objective of most philosophers is to discover what, in this ever-changing world we experience, IS NOT changing… Because if NOTHING is not-changing, then how can there ever be a thing called truth? Or reality?
For example, how can communication occur if everything is constantly changing? Is communication only possible because the changes occuring in the meaning of words, or the changes occuring in the objects/ideas/things which the words are referring to, occurring so slowly that people don’t notice? Or so slowly that that they all unconsciously adjust to the changes without realizing it? Or are they occurring so slowly that generations and generations can go by before the changes make the communication unrecognizable? Or are there some forms of communication that are so basic and unchanging that people from the earliest times would be able to communicate, in some way, with modern-day people?
How can a person have a goal if everything is constantly changing? You say that your purpose in experiencing the self- deprivation of a fast is “self-development”. If a “self” can “develop”, it must be changing from something that was less- “developed” into something that is more-”developed” … “Development” infers that it is growing TOWARDS something that is, in some way, more evolved. If there is nothing but endless, mindless CHANGE, then there is no such thing as “development”, since development infers going from a “lesser” state into a (in some way) “highter” state. And if there is such things as ‘higher”- more developed- states of being, then it means that there must be some kind of ‘ideal’ state of being, towards which it is attempting to develop.
This is Platonic, by the way… In simplified, not purely Platonic terms, he thought that although everything MATERIAL is changing and chaotic, every material thing partakes of the Ideal thing, which is permanent, and it is the ideals we must try to learn about (and develop towards) in order to come into our true selves, which are NOT ever-changing (although, of course, we can never reach our true selves in THIS world…)…
It is 3am now and I have to get up early for work tomorrow so I’ll say goodnight now… I enjoyed your entry!
Love from Nita
November 14th, 2006 at 3:42 am
Well well where to begin? First off, Nita, you either failed to grasp the crux of my post, or, probably more likely, I failed in clearly expressing my message, which is seemingly quite complex and contrary to what is at the core of much of our deeply ingrained Western values. My main purpose in writing this post was twofold: to highlight my fasting experience and its potentially beneficial ramifications to the faster, and to outline a worldview that for me has been extremely rewarding, and which I believe could also be very enriching to many others who open themselves to this particular way of thinking. Appartently, however, reading your response I see that much of my argument was lost in ancillary details.
The philosophy that I was attempting to describe is actually quite simple, so simple in fact that all we have to do is open our eyes and SEE it, to understand the TRUTH behind it. The main point is that if we truly understand that we are at any given time a factor of a complex process, in which beginnings and ends are blurred, seperation of ’self’, or any ‘thing’ for that matter, and environment is impossible (well for me at least, you try to think about it and see for yourself), and all the past experiences, and by saying that the entire history of the world in the broad sense, form who we are this moment. Now take a deep breath, think about that seemingly never-ending sentence, and read that past line one more time.
If we truly understand the aforementioned mode of thinking, which is all based on truisms–that which can be supported by what we are able to SEE and EXPERIENCE–then the adoption of the following is likely:
“This view of the world I find to be extremely intellectually satisfying as well as very powerfull. Since we are constantly changing, there is no need to have regrets–only learn from them. Since people are at any given time the product of their past experiences which they have been exposed to, as well as other factors out of their control, it teaches us compassion upon our fellow humans. Since every moment that passes us is an experience, and every experience is an opportunity towards self-development and improvement, what’s the point of doing anything that isn’t advantageous to our environment and ourselves (ie watching mindless television, unnecessary complaining, creating negative energy etc.), and thereby towards our future ‘me’? Since we have control of our future experiences, but not of our past ones, what’s the point of not focusing on this very moment? This perspective on life teaches us that we are the masters of our destiny. When we think of ourselves as ’static beings’ we are in bondage, slaves to our pasts; but as ‘dynamic beings’ we know that we create the future, and our potential effect on this at first seemingly jumbled-mess-of-a-world is in fact infinite. Thinking of ourselves as the cork, we are prisoners, but as the river we are free–-free to go anywhich way we please, free to Be.”
Now, Nita, it appears as though your main critique of this argument is that, although material things seem to come and go, there are still these ‘Ideals’ that remain fixed and true throughout time. Im really interested, what are these ‘Ideals’, these absolute truths, that you speak of? Because I’ve been thinking about that one for a while, and seems to me that any absolute claim that we make, we could equally find a valid counter-example where the opposite would also be true.
How about that commandment “Thou shall not lie”? Sure, this is a good philosophy to go with most of the time, but can you honestly say that if the Gestapo was banging at your door during Nazi Germany, and you were hiding a Jewish refugee in your attic, you would be honest with them? Would that be the moral thing to do? Or how about a more widely accepted universal principal, the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated. What if I am a Masochistic pervert who loves to be handcuffed and spanked. Should I go around giving everyone a taste of my S&M inclination, because that’s certainly what the Masochist perv would want done to himself. Our view of morality then, or anything else for that matter, must be made on a case by case basis. Sure, this view of the world is harder, it involves living in that particular moment in time, and as such leaves a lot of uncertainty hanging above us. But, that greater uncertainty is in my opinion the cost of coming closer to understanding reality.
Additionaly, Nita correctly points out that I am often contradicting myself in the post. The assertion “Nothing is Permanent” is, as you mentioned, a ludicrous example, not only because that comment is impossible because to make it I would have to KNOW EVERYTHING, but also because by making an absolute comment like that, I go against my above argument of case by case analysis.
Yup, so I contradicted myself. But why don’t you just not try and conceptualize that statement, because as I already mentioned, through conceptualization we get an incomplete and faulty view of reality. If you just try to SEE, you will be able to KNOW that nothing is permanent.
That’s not the only contradiction I make though; what about this whole idea of the changelessness of change. How can that be? Or hell, just think about my whole argument: I preach a philosophy as viewing the world through a relativistic lense, thinking of any ‘thing’ as the product of its environment etc. But by doing so, I offer a philosophy that purports to be universal in its non-universality. It seems as though out of all concepts that are absolute in nature, the ones that best hold up to the test of seeing and experience are paradoxes. I think back to this photo of a female student in the Tienaman Square massacre, holding up a sign that reads: “I want the right to contradict myself”.
I believe this ‘truth in paradoxes’ has kept many Western philosophers in a perpertual state of unrest and confusement. This deep-seeded belief in logic and thinking to obtain ‘truth’ seems just a tad misguided, no? If my aforementioned arguments don’t convince you of the futility in logic and reason as a means to discovering truth about reality, I can just go ahead and get one of my math wiz buddies from the graduate programme in Economics to PROVE to you that, much to what we previously thought, 1 is in fact equal to 0, or a formal proof could also demostrate for you that 2 is equal to 1.
Another reason that we can’t possibly obtain any ‘truth’ about reality through conceptualization is that by thinking about reality, thereby attempting to understand it, we are affecting it also since we are a part of it. This is what economists call an endogeneity problem: we assume that our thinking about reality does not affect it–thus we assume exogeneity–but as anyone can see by just opening their eyes, we clearly do have an affect on the underlying thing that we are trying to understand. Equating knowledge with truth, we see that knowledge about reality is in fact impossible through conceptualization because we don’t fulfill the criteria of what social scientists call correspondence–basically exongeneity, nonrelation, between the dependent and independent variables. But ya know what, we can strive for UNDERSTANDING reality, because it isn’t scientific, and as such doesn’t require correspondence.
Well shit, you know I could go on and on about this, and even though this comment is already pretty long, it is nowhere long enough to properly justify my position–that would be impossible, as the only way to truly understand the arguments that I made is to just SEE them. If anyone has any questions, please don’t hesitate.
November 21st, 2006 at 11:57 am
Very interesting Tim old boy. And thank you too; as usual, the answers to my questions are winging their way to me before i have consciously got round to asking for them. In this instance, you have been one of the said vessels.
Nay worry on the contradictions, tis only through such dicotomies that the absolute and the relative can be held and expressed. I suppose it depends on the focus: Consciousness is all there is, and yet there is so much that we are unconscious of; love is all there is, the link between everything - only through love (be it euphoria, or in the guise of fascination and interest, empathy, compassion, relaxation etc) can we feel the connection between ourselves and others and our environment, and yet do we have the power and potential to create the perception of fear, blinding us to the reality and structure that we exist within; allowing us to exist in the somewhat smaller understanding of separation, fear and misery.
Through such beautiful dicitomies however, do we have the chance to choose the experiences that we wish, “masters of our own destinies” as you put it. This smacks of the awesome power of relativity and contrast of which you speak: Food’s okay if you have it hand whenever you want, but your experience of hunger is small and fleeting. However, when you choose to abstain, thus do you carve-out more deeply the vessel of your experience; as have you felt more deeply the experience of hunger and going without, so do you experience a deeper and more complete feeling of satisfaction and having. This is expressed physically, but as with all action in the relative world, it comes first from a knowledge of spirit, and an urge for that knowledge to be experienced. So, though the actions are played out in the physical world, the experience pertains to a far deeper and higher spiritual meaning.
Well done Tim, and well met! That’s some mighty fine conscious process and attainment you’ve undertaken. I salute you. Though i’m hungry at the moment, so i’m off for a jacket and cheese!
By the ways, i’m not in China any more. Had to come back due to family illness. Back there again in January i reckons.
Take it easy Brother,
Jamie xxxX
March 16th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
Tim, reading this has helped me in ways I’m sure you wouldn’t have anticipated. I personally have fasted three times, though my fasts involved no food whatsoever. I never once thought of them as being depriving in any way, and from my very first time I looked at a fast as a way of improving and making my life better and richer, not a way to relate to the poor. All too often I would overindulge and end up feeling sick from having too much of the stuff I thought I loved! I found a fast made me love food even more, but not all food. A fast has a way of making me more aware of what’s going in my body and I can feel what food makes me healthier and I can also feel what food destroys my body. Processed foods end up tasting like garbage, where before a fast those same foods made up some of my strongest addictions.
On a seamingly random note…It wasn’t until last night that I realized why I loved traveling so much. It wasn’t the new sights and sounds and different cultures I got to experience. Those were incredible, but they weren’t ever going to become a new regimen for my life, and thus were a fleeting experience. What really made my travels amazing for me was the “fast” I experienced from my cluttered life. Fasting has a way of stripping away all the unneeded “toxins” and cleaning out one’s body. Traveling did the same for my mind. This is why I can’t live a life on the road, because like a food fast, I can’t do it forever. It’s a building block to be done routinely, but not every day of my life. Before now I had some regret about not being able to travel indefinitely like you, but now I have no regret. I will still need to travel and get away from all the garbage in my life like my cell phone, my computer, my car, my house, my bills, and any one of the other countless items that sometimes keep me up at night. And when I do travel, my everyday life will be that much sweeter and more fulfilling once I return.